As this journey began it was about losing weight to improve my overall health, become a better mother to my girls and learning to admit to myself how unhappy I was with my appearance and my self-esteem. Every one of you knows how much I have lost, maybe what you need to hear is how difficult this "journey" has been for me....
Life is often a train wreck - derailed at the most unexpected times, blind-sided, and in the aftermath of the wreck we are faced with choices; stand by and make no changes and regret it forever, or get back on the track and get shit done.
At the beginning of my journey, by choice, I refused scripts for high blood pressure, high cholesterol, anxiety, and depression. By choice I refused the easy out (surgery). By choice I made an appointment with Chris Tybor and the journey into weight loss and personal training began. Little did I know how it would end. [trainer commentary - This path has no finish line. There is no "End." There is a beginning, and then there is the rest of one's life. There are more forks in the road, but never a STOP sign - health is a lifelong path.] Those choices lead me into a lifestyle that was different than 90% of the people in my life yet somehow I knew I had to save MY LIFE... MY WAY...
I listen to all of you daily and I hear the words determined, strong, inspiring, motivated, selfless, amazing and lets not forget Sexy Bitch - but any one of us can be described by these words.... What I need you to know is that this weight loss journey has taken everything I had plus 100% more - I had to admit things I never wanted to deal with, and I have been judged for the choices I make to live this lifestyle. Yet along the way I have learned to accept that some people will never understand why I do this, I have to learned to accept the mental changes along with the physical changes, and to take credit for my own actions. One of the most difficult things for me was learning it's OK to ask for help along the way..... Just because you know how much I love my food log I have to say it... be honest with yourself about your food choices and food logging everyday.
Although I have achieved the goal I set out to accomplish there are things that I have found in the process that are just as important, if not more important to me. Wonder what could be more important then the 100 Pounds I lost? For me its easy… the journey is about the 100 things I have gained:
Self-Confidence
The ability to shop in any store
Portion-Control
Love/Hate Relationship with my food-log
To a point mental stability (work in progress)
Making choices that make me happy
Extended Family who understand my lifestyle 100%
The physical ability to do things I've never dreamed of
Friendships and Support that will never end
Know this journey was never easy for me physically or mentally but the things I've gained along the way are priceless !! I know there are times in our journeys that we feel as though we can't do anything right, that we never seem to please anyone, and everyone around is against us. But stay strong and keep moving forward towards your goal.
So many thank you's have to be said for the gifts my ChrisFit family has given me. I don't have words to express my gratitude to all of you, and if I named all of you this blog would be a novel. If I only named a few of my cardio buddies I'd forget someone, so please know each and every one of you holds a place in my heart forever.
I do need to speak of two major components in my accomplishment:
Chris Tybor Thank you for opening this gym, for your gut wrenching questions, blunt honest answers, never letting me quit, for your random odd texts at some of the lowest points of my life and the gift of my butter lamb. Thank You from the bottom of my heart. You have created a family out of what were once strangers. Always remember why you started it, because it's amazing.
Secondly ....Steve Decker...bah...what can I say? The first year he trained me I think he said twenty words TOTAL! Let me be honest: if someone would have asked me two years ago how this journey would have ended, this blog would have been different. And then over the past year Steve proved something (maybe even to himself). He is a tough, caring, knowledgeable, honest trainer and friend. Steve has pushed me to my physical limits time and time again and just when I think I have entered into my own personal hell of pain and swearing at him he just grins and asks for one more set (3rd set miracle). He may have on occasion demanded a food log, he expected nothing less than honesty, he handed out punishment burpees like candy, and he banned drinking (ugh). Mentally he challenged me to admit most of my fears and failures but he always stayed close by to save me from admission to S5 (mental ward). At the end of each session what Steve does best is rebuilds confidence and makes you believe that you can be more fucking awesome one ass to the grass squat at a time.
Thank you Steve for helping me become saneish and 100 pounds lighter. You're the simply the best !!!
With Love,
Nicole
"Never, never, never, never give up."
-Winston Churchill
Further Trainer Commentary:
I'd like to just share a few thoughts and memories from the long and winding road that was the past two years training Nicole to be more awesome at everything.
I remember my first time training Nicole very clearly. It was the day before a bodybuilding contest that I had entered, and this poor terrified woman shows up to train with me in possibly the worst possible moment. First of all, I'd had about 7 carbs that entire week (for those of you that know me, you know how delightfully personable I am the week of a show...), I'm painted orange with fake tanner, and despite it being April, I'm bundled up in a hoodie and sweats freezing half to death. What a great first impression. Then we get to the actual training. Our first session was less than awe-inspiring between me being my own physical trainwreck, and Nicole being one herself (Sorry, I love ya Nicole, but we know it wasn't pretty!). We did only a few basic exercises, but they proved a number of things to me - 1) We had a long road ahead of us, physically. 2) We established a lifelong tradition of form debacles that would only be solved at the third set of anything! 3) This lady was determined to fight tooth and nail to get what she wanted.
The first set of plank lasted a generous 10 seconds that day. Bodyweight squats were both challenging and tiring. We won't even discuss Lat Pulldowns. But at no point did she even come close to quitting.
From there, things progressed. Sometimes very well, sometimes slowly. One day I asked her to squat the 100 lb Kettlebell for the first time (oooh, symbolism!). She looked at me like I had horns coming out of my head (i had them removed years ago), then swore a bit, then picked it up like it was nothing. 10 times.
Look at her now. I have never been able to come up with a workout she couldn't handle. (And let's be honest - Iv'e put her through some utter madness!) She squats and deadlifts more than many males, and has the cardiovascular endurance of a pro athlete. Seriously.
(And as some of you may recall, Chris and I were in a bit of a "transition" phase at this point - i.e. we didn't have a damn gym to work at the next week at this point! But Nicole believed in us, that we could and would get her where she wanted to go. She opted to follow us on to our new location based on not much more than a handshake and a promise. THAT took guts. Stepping foot into a gym in the first place was brave. Signing up was brave. Following us was a leap of faith, and I'll never forget that.)
But it's really not the physical changes that I'm most proud of with this process. It's seeing the real Nicole come out from behind a wall of self-doubt, and her helping me do the same along the way. When she first started training, she didn't say much more than me (maybe 27 words that year?). But as time went on and the physical changes became more and more apparent, and her body got stronger and worked better in every way, the real personality managed to start coming out. That's what has been truly incredible. The hilarious, caring, take-no-prisoners, honest, loving, badass woman that we all know now made herself known. And along the way I managed to find one of the best friends anyone could ever ask for. And for THAT I'm the one that should be thanking her, not the other way around. (I mean, I just stand there and drink my coffee [that she probably brought to me] and swear while she does whatever crazy shit I come up with. My job's a bit easier than hers in this team!)
I could prattle on for another day or two about fuzzy memories and hilarious outtakes from this rollercoaster ride, but this isn't about me.
So to sum up, THANK YOU NICOLE. For not quitting EVER, through ANYTHING. For inspiring a few hundred people (probably more) to be better versions of themselves (myself at the top of that list). For being there as a friend always, even when you've got your own burdens to bear. For always squatting ass to the grass. And for getting shit done, and making me do the same. For letting me be a part of the process. I couldn't be more proud of you.
-Steve
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